The Dagg Nabbit Stubbs

Riffosaurus Rock

There was a man who lived in a bus alone
Just him and thoughts and his dog and his meth lab home
a million rusted cars and junked-out rides
it looked like a scene from Maximum Overdrive

Then one day the Devil came in a fevered dream
on Pegasus back like a black light poster scene
he said, “I'm gonna use your idle hands
give you the tools, some lunch, and a simple plan.”

“Here's a wrench made in the fires of hell.
Here's a socket set made from soap in jail.
Here's the ham sandwich of Ted Bundy.
I wantcha to build me...”
“Build me a truck!”
“A truck that eats big trucks!”
“That runs on stem cells and styrofoam,
and crushes road like a four-wheeled Thunderdome.”

“You've got the goods.
Not to mention the free time,
so get to work.
Get to work, motherfucker, yeah!”

“Build me a truck!”
“A truck that eats big trucks!”
“That runs on stem cells and styrofoam,
and crushes road like a four-wheeled Thunderdome.”

(Hemi)
It's got a Hemi!
(Semi)
It gives me a semi!
(Trim-y)
It A-ttracts the trim-y!
Devil Truck gonna romp it's way to you.
There's nothing you can do, no.
Yeah.

You
makes you feel manly.
You
Illusion of safety.

It's gonna tear you upsidedown
It's gonna tear you upsidedown
It's gonna make you see right now
It's gonna rip your ass apart.

Devil Truck: it doesn't suck!
Devil Truck: you motherfuck!
Devil Truck: Chuck Palahniuk!
Devil Truck: Disco Duck!
Devil Truck: Friar Tuck!
Uhhh... Uncle Buck.

Give it a drive.
Yeah, you.
Make you feel manly.
Wasted inside.
Yeah, you.
Make you feel Manly.

(spark plugs.)

Give it a drive.
Yeah, you.
Make you feel manly.
Wasted inside.
Yeah, you.
Make you feel manly.

Whatever happened to you? You used to be cool.
Now you got your balls in a purse.
Sittin' there lookin' sad.
Behind the wheel of your mini-van.
Shit just couldn't get much worse.
Got nothin' left inside.
It's all been dead and dried.
It's crumpled up it goes with the tide.
Got nothin' left to say.
It's all gone anyway.
You might as well just go away.

Yeah! Oooh! Yeah!
Crushing the mountain you drive down!
Yeah! Oooh! Yeah!
Crushing the mountain you drive.

Pancake Dinner

Hey now, whatcha say
tonight you know I gotta real hot date
and if it goes well then I won't have to masturbate
Hey now, don'tcha see
I met her on E-Harmony (you know I)
take her down to I-Hop romantically.

Don't you want to buy me a pancake dinner?
This trucker cap reads: “I'm a Sexy Winner.”

Hey now, whatcha say
I'm gonna take you far away
on a bright white steed down to Mantego Bay
Hey now, Don'tcha see
why you gotta act crazy?
It's not everyday I get a steak knife pointed at me

Don't you want to buy me pancake dinner?
Syrup makes me drool like B.F. Skinner. (x2)

Don't you want to buy me a pancake dinner?
Everything about this tie screams, “I'm a sexy winner!”
You know I'll take you far away
On a pancake boat down to Syrup Bay
I'm gonna butter your grits in the most romantic way.

But things got weird tonight
you know you made your point with an old steak knife
now I might have to pee strange for the rest of my life

I was walking just the other day yeah
down a lonesome street.
I was wearing some sadness boots on my
tiny depression feet.
yeah, tiny depression feet.

I was walking just the other day yeah
down a street of gold.
I'd been drinking so I had no pants on
and it was mighty cold.
yeah, oh shrinking-dinky cold.

I was walking just the other day yeah
down a glum avenue.
that was in the old Bummer District
of old Sadskatoon.
yeah, of old sad bastard town.

I was walking just the other day yeah
San Francisco Street.
I was looking for Bilbo Baggins
That bastard stole my ring.
Yeah, That bastard stole my ring.

Yeah little mama gonna take you down
we're gonna ride to Syrup Bay
Gonna ride little ol' pancake boat right down to old Breakfast Lane
yeah, Breakfast Lane!

Swamp Gas

I seen a goddamn fire in the sky last night as sure as I'm going blind
A UFO that weren't ball lightning or a simple trick of the mind yeah
of the mind.

I seen a little green man about three feet ten and his English just weren't no good.
He picked me up with a fishin' spotlight but I fought back all I could yeah
All I could.

Oh man now we're trollin' through the universe
(don't, don'tcha get probed)
I'm gonna go head to Mars
(by them space)
Gonna find a three tittied lady
(space babies)
Hanging out at the bar
(don't)
Gonna go down to Mos Eisley
(don'tcha get probed)
Gonna rock with the band
(by them space)
big fat plate of mash potatoes
(space babies)
this means somethin' man.

I seen a lot of unlucky, dumb interstate truckers in a line that were getting' probed.
But I wasn't one of those sad bastards so please can we let it go?
Yeah, let it go.

Oh man now we're trollin' through the universe
(don't, don'tcha get probed)
I'm gonna go head to Mars
(by them space)
Gonna find a three tittied lady
(space babies)
Hanging out at the bar
(don't)
Gonna go down to Mos Eisley
(don'tcha get probed)
Gonna rock with the band
(by them space)
big fat plate of mash potatoes
(space babies)
this really means somethin' man.

Don't you get probed.
By them space babies.

Tractor Pull

Getting' crazy at the tractor pull
that's right now
(I wanna see you there, I wanna see you there)
A man feels taller here than Richard Moll from Night Court
(I wanna see you there, I wanna see you there)
Ooooh now I said, I wanna shuck some corn
Ooooh now I said, I wanna shuck some corn

There's nothing sweeter than a tractor pull
that's a fact now
(I wanna take you there, I wanna take you there)
Like chocolate pudding on a G.I. Joe
now I wanna say
(I wanna take you there, I wanna take you there)
Ooooh now I said, I wanna shuck some corn
Ooooh now I said, papa ain't comin' home—no!

Wanna come and see me cause I'm a tractor pullin' and I know you wanna see me there
Wanna come and see me cause I'm a tractor pullin' and I know you wanna take me there
Wanna come and see me cause I'm a tractor pullin' and I know you wanna see me there
Just give me some fuckin' corn!

Yeah!
Wanna come and see me cause I'm a tractor pullin' and I know you wanna see me there
Wanna come and see me cause I'm a tractor pullin' and I know you wanna take me there
Wanna come and see me cause I'm a tractor pullin' and I know you wanna see me there
Just give me some fuckin' corn!

I said, oh yeah I wanna take you down to the tractor pull rodeo.
I said, oh yeah I wanna take you down to the tractor pull rodeo.
I said, oh yeah I wanna take you down to the tractor pull rodeo.
Oh yeah, wanna take you down we're the Dagg Nabbit Stubbs you know!

Bitch Street

Baby! Where you been tonight?
I've been lookin' eveywhere for ya
you weren't in the kitchen all night
I thought you might be doin' laundry
but then you cam stumblin' home from Bitch Street

Oooh down on Bitch Street

Baby! Where's my dinner been?
I think it's still in the freezer!
Why don't you pop it in?
The oven ain't the only thing that's gone cold around here
Ever since you've spending your nights on Bitch Street.

Oooh down on Bitch Street

Baby, baby, baby, baby! Who's this 'Martin' guy?
He's keeps callin' here for ya.
Last time he started to cry.
I think we should get our own cell phones
Or better yet, you can use the payphone up on Clark and Bitch Street.

Baby! You smell like ass and whiskey! Again!
You were supposed to just go to the Red Box for a movie, well here's a cardboard box, pack all your dumbass shit and move to goddamned motherfuckin' Bitch Street!

Down On Bitch Street

That's where you're going to
That's where you're gonna move
That's where you'll stay
yeah
Does it look like I'm jokin'?
...like I'm jokin'?

(Goodbye Bitch Street)
You've lost your mind
And I'm doin' time here on Bitch Street, yeah
You've lost your mind
and I'm doin' time here, yeah
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Get on down to Bitch Street, yeah!
(take me on down)
Get on down to Bitch Street, yeah!
(I wanna go down)
Get on down to Bitch Street, yeah!
(I wanna go down)

The Devil’s Work

I was sittin’ on my porch just playin’ this song when all of a sudden the devil came along
His ponytail swinging in his black corvette, I was impressed by his personal jet
I said devil, sir, that’s all fine and good but what brings you here to my neck of the woods
You wail on guitar that’s word on the street, I brought you a contract could you sign it for me

Yeah yeah yeah

He handed me a paper with ink as red as flames, in legalese that makes you want to go insane
I said Hey When do we play?
He handed me a pen and he told me where to sign, and a hundred bucks and said that there was mine
I said hey When do we play?
Cuz when we play It’s with fire
Cuz when we play it’s with fire

I split the hundred bucks up square in the band fifty thirty thirty cuz that’s an even hand
I bought a stripper and a boss hog cigar, Hotskins bought a bus pass cuz’ he ain’t got no car
Monroe bought a hat and a bike built for three we rode it to a bar and we started to drink
And then Tigris came and we’ve been here all day and we play with fire if we bother to play at all

And when we play it’s with fire.
With fire
With fire
With fire
We do the devil’s... work
Work
Work
We are The Dagg Nabbit Stubbs and we bring you the gift of... Love

Devilin' Under The Influence (DUI)

Hand me my drinking jar
And get in the car
Strap in the baby
And my sweet cousin Ronnie
Cuz he’s got special needs!

We’re going drivin’
Down dark country roads
Like we was shot out a cannon
And we’re gonna explode!

Yeah! We’re going drivin’ going rou-ond
We’re going driving goin’ Round
Yeah we’re going drivin’ goin’ Round yeah!
We’re gonna drive all shithouse tonight the devil told me so!

We’re going faster
Than the spectre of death
Or a golden cheetah
On some crystal meth!

We’re goin’ cruisin’
At speeds unseen
I got a radar detector
Right in front of me!

Yeah! We’re going drivin’ going rou-ond
We’re going driving goin’ Round
Yeah we’re going drivin’ goin’ Round yeah!
We’re gonna drive all shithouse tonight the devil told me so!

Ronnie, fetch us another Bartles’ N’ James from the cooler in the back
Is this Pina Colada?! Damn it Ronnie, you know I like the blackberry!
Give me that map, Mon-Roe! I swear for a yank you are dense. Tell me if I hit somethin’
It’s a shame we ran out of Boonesfarm that hour ago.
Should we actually go somewhere? Or do you want me to keep doin’ doughnuts in this parking lot?
That Wal-Mart security guard is pissed off he’s all like:
[Horrifying scream of deathness]

Don’t tell mom, c’mon Ronnie!

Dance Party

Now’s your time to dance
Grab your partner by the hand
And don’t you ever take the answer “no.”

Grab some candles and a boar
Gut that sum-a-bitch on the floor
Draw a star now in the blood
So we can burn this place on down

Grabbin’ your partner you swing round-n-round
We’re tearin’ this place to the…(ground!)
C’mon! Sing it! You’ve got to believe it
We’re tearing this place to the…

Now’s your time to dance
Grab that cutie by the ass
And push that booty out upon the floor

Spin ‘em around now don’t be shy
We’ve got demons, punch, and pie
But save some room for the holy ghost
‘cuz that’s a three-way here we go!

Grabbin’ your partner you swing round-n-round
We’re tearin’ this place to the…(ground!)
C’mon! Sing it! You’ve got to believe it
We’re tearing this place to the…

[Spoken]
Ever since the dawn of time when Jesus first put intelligent designer feets at the end of our fins man has had the urge to dance. And every generation a brave John Ashcroftian man rises to keep those urges illegal!
[spoken-y sang]
I say look on deep down inside yourselves you’ll find a tiny man inside
With a voice that you cannot silence and moves your spirit up high
Take that little man by his little hand and he’ll show you how
He dared to mess with Texas and defeated John Lithgow
His name is Kevin Bacon and he has placed the truth inside your hearts
Like a spider lays a million eggs inside every Hershey’s candy bar
(What?)

Grabbin’ your partner you swing round-n-round
We’re tearin’ this place to the…(ground!)
C’mon! Sing it! You’ve got to believe it
We’re tearing this place to the…
Yeah…
Yeah…
Yeah…
To the ground!
Tearin’ this place to the ground!

You, Me and The Devil Make Four

I see you walkin’
By the Tilt-O-Whirl
Your hair in curls
You naughty gril

I see you walkin’
Pink chewing gum poppin’
I’m the king of the fairground
You’re the queen of the trailer—

--Park you see.
You’re the only girl here right for me.
Hell yeah.
It’s you and me and the devil makes four yeah
I gotta make this quick I leave after the weekend

[whisper] I see you walkin’
By the Gravitron
Your legs so long
So pale so strong

I see you walkin’
Pink chewing gum poppin’
I’m the king of the fairground
You’re the queen of the trailer—

--Park you see.
You’re the only girl here right for me.
So you see
I wanna take you out for chicken wings
Medium spicy.

It’s you and me and the devil makes four yeah
I gotta make this quick I leave after the weekend
It won’t take the man outta me to dip a corndog for you

(Ahhh-Ahhhhs part)

I see you walkin’
By the bumper cars
You won’t get to far
From my Carnie charms

I see you walkin’
By the Midway signs
My Ouija board
Gives me pick-up lines

These Pancakes Are Made With The Devil's Bisquick

Once upon a time not long ago
Me and Tigris went out on his boat
Stalkin’ a legendary bass that the locals call “the old general”

So there we were on a private part of the lake
In a dark tangle of fallen trees
Munchin’ on a Dorito sandwich
On a hunt for that mythical beast

The one with a devilish glint in his eye and three kills to his name
They even say that big mouthed bastard burned down Lou’s Bait N’ Tackle back in ‘92
(they say)

All a sudden my line goes tight
And my pole was near bent in half
I knew it had to be the Ol’ General
Calling me out for a street fight

The son-a-bitch must weighed a hundred pounds
And been around before the lake had been found
He was tougher than any Bass
But I’d snagged a fat hook in his ass yeah it’s true
(oh yeah)

Yeah! I’m gonna rip I’m gonna pull that line!
Yeah! I’m gonna get I’m gonna take what’s mine!
You better give it everything you’ve got, Sir!
Cuz I’m gunnin’ for you and I’m raining fire!

I fought the General till the sun went down
My arms hurt and there was sweat on my brow
But I knew that moment had come
And the General was finally done

The son-a-bitch must weighed a hundred pounds
And been around before the lake had been found
He was tougher than any Bass
But I’d snagged a fat hook in his ass yeah it’s true

So if you’re ever round a certain lake
There’s a record there you’ll never break
And a picture of a handsome man
With a Dorito sandwich in hand

Once upon a time not long ago
Me and Tigris went out on his boat
We caught a legendary bass and
Went to Motel 6 for the continental breakfast.

The Devil And Peter Graves

Chewin’ on a rail spike
He spits grain alcohol down
His boots grind gravel
His hands push fault lines around

His hair’s worth money
Has suits of human skin
Lives in a tornado (oh no)
And bleeds straight victory gin

You can’t bring him down

Colder than a glacier
And he moves twice as fast
Hotter than a biscuit
Inside a nucular blast

Tougher Than Leather
Raising Hell
The King of Rock
Back From Hell

He ate a landmine
And shat a rhubarb pie

You can’t take him
You can’t take him
You can’t take him…down!

(Peter Graves!)
They built him Tonka tough
(Tonka tough!)
He fucked a Sherman tankl
(Sherman tank!)
and when he stands up you know he’s gonna block out the sun!
(Peter Graves!)
They built him Tonka tough
(Tonka tough!)
He fucked a Sherman tankl
(Sherman tank!)
And when he stands up you know he’s gonna arm wrestle God.

[solo]
You can’t take him
You can’t take him
You can’t take him…down!
You can’t take him
You can’t take him
You can’t take him…down!

(Peter Graves!)
They built him Tonka tough
(Tonka tough!)
He fucked a Sherman tankl
(Sherman tank!)
and when he stands up you know he’s gonna leg wrestle Ghandi!
(Peter Graves!)
They built him Tonka tough
(Tonka tough!)
He fucked a Sherman tankl
(Sherman tank!)
and when he stands up you know he’s gonna block out the sun!

[Spoken part]
A lot of people don’t realize that before he hosted A&E’s Biography Peter Graves was voted “mostly likely to bench press a battle ship” in his high school yearbook.
Peter graves left school a year early because he had absorbed all the knowledge he needed from the light of our yellow sun.
He then opened a chain of upper class strip clubs called “Peter Heaven”
Shortly thereafter, Peter Graves went back in time and punched General Vericomb Vespucci so hard it erased him from history for all time. That’s why you don’t know whom I’m talking about.
Every Easter Peter Graves shits a Faberge egg…if he sees his shadow.
His favorite video game was Donkey Kong, only he plays it with a real silverback gorilla… a real scared one.
And if you see him coming you’ll know it cuz the sun goes out, the air dies all around you and your mortal prayers are pressed into nothingness by his mere presence!

[sang part]
The legend of Peter Graves
Is one that’s rarely told
But I’m friends with his sister’s friend

Yeah I got time on my hands
It keeps my mind off things
It gets pretty lonely here and well
HOW COME YOU DIDN’T LOVE ME MOMMA!

All hail Peter Graves! All Hail Peter Graves!